You Look Like a Douche When You Do That

You may not be aware, but when you do that, you look like a total douche-nozzle.

Please don't put that in your mouth... I'm sure that thing is filthy.
I don't know who told you your makeup looks good that way, but whoever they are, they're not your friend.
Oh, I see.  You must be the one who told that other girl that her makeup looks good.
As soon as my time machine arrives in the mail, I'm gonna revisit 2003, and check out your Myspace page.
God, I hate you.
The finger she still picks her nose with has become possessed. "Redrum!" (If you didn't get that reference, you are probably too young to be using the internet without parental supervision.  Naughty, naughty. )
That's incredibly clever and original. 
You're an idiot.

 Well, that's all for now, but don't go and get all disappointed, 'cause there's more where that came from.

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