Hi there... for all of you new readers out there, this blog alternates depending on my mood between true snippets of my life in Japan, real news stories about Japan, and weird observations I have about Japan. Often all mixed up together. I've been doing this for over two years now, and I've enjoyed every minute of creating Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife for you. Thank YOU for reading it. But... and I enjoy the word but, if you would help spread... the word, I guess is the word, to gather more sheep to the flock, I would appreciate it. Ego, you know.
Oh... one more thing... stories about ME, have a rock and roll song title for a title. Not all of these stories have me looking good. But, I am an honest man. At least I am now.
It's Tuesday, October 22, 1991 in the land of Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan. Full disclosure - this is my life. I was born in London, England to Indian parents (dot, not the feather), and grew up in Canada - Toronto, specifically. There's nothing remotely Indian or English about me, except the color of my skin and a love of Monty Python and soccer (to play, not watch).
I'm an assistant English teacher (AET) on the Japan Exchange & Teaching (JET) Programme, and I teach at all seven junior high schools in this city, once per week, team-teaching with a Japanese teacher of English.
This week, I'm at Chikasono Chu Gakko (Chikasono Junior High School)... a small, old school deep in the heart of some farming country here in Ohtawara. No surprise there. Ohtawara translates into Big-Rice Field-Field. Lots of fields of rice.
So I'm sitting at my desk in the teacher's office at Chikasono, when the Principal comes over to me and asks in English, no less: "Do you know 'chikan'?
It just so happens that last week I learned that 'chikan' means 'molester'. What the Hell would he ask me that?
Hmmm... it must be some other Japanese word that sounds the same but has a different meaning - a homonym.
I look him directly in the face, scrunch up an eye and an eyebrow and say, "Tabun (maybe)".
Kouchou-sensei (Principal) utters: "Peeping Tom-u."
"Ah yes! I know"... I probably shouldn't have smiled.
Still, he scurried away and talked to a few other teachers... each of whom slowly turned to look at me.
Christ... now what did I do? All I did was boink a university student in a classroom at Utsunomiya University. She was in her 20s (Junko!!!).
Ah... maybe I didn't do anything... the Japanese always seem fascinated that I seem to know what they are talking about. Hmm... I guess I do. I must be getting the hang of this Japan-living....
No more is said to me about 'chikan'. I'm curious, but am afraid that being too curious will kill this cat. I'll let it slide and hope someone - perhaps a Japanese English teacher - will soon bring up the point.
No one does. Then again, maybe this had something to do with me being in the men's room at this school last year. Back when a female student walked by the room that has no door and called out a friendly greeting to me. Perhaps I should have waved with a different hand. True story.
Back home, I race out to the Ohtawara video shop and rent two horror movies and watch until my eyes bleed.
Karen Irwin... a cute, bubbly redhead from North Bay, Ontario, Canada (and a high school AET on JET) calls again.
She yelled at me about something yesterday evening. I think she knew I was still sleeping with my ex, Ashley (also a high school AET). Karen likes me a lot and wants me for a boyfriend. I don't want a girlfriend, but I do want the sex. If I had a girlfriend, I would also lose the sex from Ashley... and Junko... and I wouldn't want to lose that.
Today, it's small talk.
After we hang-up, Ashley calls and says sorry for cracking my ribs with the chucked sake (Japanese fermented rice wine) shot glass.
I made that story up. The part about getting hurt. Ashley did hit me with the glass, but I'm Magnificientguy... I mean Superman! It just bounced of me. I lied to elicit sympathy. I can be so immature sometimes. Oh well. It worked.
Apparently Karen told her. I must have told her last night, but I was sooo tired I had no recollection of doing so. Damn. I'm such a dick. But will it get me laid?
Somewhere wondering what Tom was peeping at,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by April Wine - hey! I saw them in concert, too!
Oh... one more thing... stories about ME, have a rock and roll song title for a title. Not all of these stories have me looking good. But, I am an honest man. At least I am now.
It's Tuesday, October 22, 1991 in the land of Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan. Full disclosure - this is my life. I was born in London, England to Indian parents (dot, not the feather), and grew up in Canada - Toronto, specifically. There's nothing remotely Indian or English about me, except the color of my skin and a love of Monty Python and soccer (to play, not watch).
I'm an assistant English teacher (AET) on the Japan Exchange & Teaching (JET) Programme, and I teach at all seven junior high schools in this city, once per week, team-teaching with a Japanese teacher of English.
This week, I'm at Chikasono Chu Gakko (Chikasono Junior High School)... a small, old school deep in the heart of some farming country here in Ohtawara. No surprise there. Ohtawara translates into Big-Rice Field-Field. Lots of fields of rice.
So I'm sitting at my desk in the teacher's office at Chikasono, when the Principal comes over to me and asks in English, no less: "Do you know 'chikan'?
It just so happens that last week I learned that 'chikan' means 'molester'. What the Hell would he ask me that?
Hmmm... it must be some other Japanese word that sounds the same but has a different meaning - a homonym.
I look him directly in the face, scrunch up an eye and an eyebrow and say, "Tabun (maybe)".
Kouchou-sensei (Principal) utters: "Peeping Tom-u."
"Ah yes! I know"... I probably shouldn't have smiled.
Still, he scurried away and talked to a few other teachers... each of whom slowly turned to look at me.
Christ... now what did I do? All I did was boink a university student in a classroom at Utsunomiya University. She was in her 20s (Junko!!!).
Ah... maybe I didn't do anything... the Japanese always seem fascinated that I seem to know what they are talking about. Hmm... I guess I do. I must be getting the hang of this Japan-living....
No more is said to me about 'chikan'. I'm curious, but am afraid that being too curious will kill this cat. I'll let it slide and hope someone - perhaps a Japanese English teacher - will soon bring up the point.
No one does. Then again, maybe this had something to do with me being in the men's room at this school last year. Back when a female student walked by the room that has no door and called out a friendly greeting to me. Perhaps I should have waved with a different hand. True story.
Back home, I race out to the Ohtawara video shop and rent two horror movies and watch until my eyes bleed.
Karen Irwin... a cute, bubbly redhead from North Bay, Ontario, Canada (and a high school AET on JET) calls again.
She yelled at me about something yesterday evening. I think she knew I was still sleeping with my ex, Ashley (also a high school AET). Karen likes me a lot and wants me for a boyfriend. I don't want a girlfriend, but I do want the sex. If I had a girlfriend, I would also lose the sex from Ashley... and Junko... and I wouldn't want to lose that.
Today, it's small talk.
After we hang-up, Ashley calls and says sorry for cracking my ribs with the chucked sake (Japanese fermented rice wine) shot glass.
I made that story up. The part about getting hurt. Ashley did hit me with the glass, but I'm Magnificientguy... I mean Superman! It just bounced of me. I lied to elicit sympathy. I can be so immature sometimes. Oh well. It worked.
Apparently Karen told her. I must have told her last night, but I was sooo tired I had no recollection of doing so. Damn. I'm such a dick. But will it get me laid?
Somewhere wondering what Tom was peeping at,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is by April Wine - hey! I saw them in concert, too!
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