Showing posts with label Bar Scene. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bar Scene. Show all posts

Running With The Devil

It's Valentine's Day...
It's Wednesday, December 4, 1991. I'm teaching at Nozaki Chu Gakko (Nozaki Junior High School) this week.

Yesterday was perhaps the best day I have had in Japan in a non-sexual manner, of course, as the students in the 2-1 class and I were involved in a food fight.

And no! It wasn't just everyone versus the gaijin (foreigner) or against the teachers (myself and a homeroom teacher) - it was everybody for themselves. Truly a major bonding experience.

Thank goodness these kids had never seen a real food fight before or else bowls of liquid goop would have been poured over everyone and everything. It was just the tossing of food at each other - though some of the little buggers (Grade 8s) can really toss a fast riceball. Some of the girls were using binders to serve up an ace of face of diced carrots.

It was nothing malicious and it was terribly fun.

You can read more about that HERE.

Anyhow, today I decide to take in my 1880s Genji comic book (Background data HERE in a blog or TWO) to show Nagashima-sensei, the head English teacher at No-chu (the school nickname).

She is impressed by either the way I can spend a lot of money or at the funny little book that has scribbles seemingly impossible for even her to read, or the fact that I even know who Genji is. I tell her I was educated a bit by Takemoto-san at his antique shop in Nikko.

(Hunh. As I write this out in 2012, I recall that he - Takemoto-san - was a high-school teacher in Nikko. Hmm, my long-term memory is far better than my short-term... unless this is Alzheimer's setting in - whatever that is). 

Unfortunately, she is unable to provide much information for me, as she simply can't decode the scrawls that pass for lettering in the book.

Gods... can you believe I only have one class today? The last one - 5th period?! It's okay, I'm actually a lazy bastard and if I can get out of working, I would.

I do want to talk to as many teachers as possible, but the teachers are pretty busy, prepping for parent-teacher interviews. Hey! Someone has to work. I would glad do five classes a day if that was what they wanted. Okay, maybe not gladly, but you know what I mean.

Luckily I have my Clive Barker book - Books of Blood - to read, but even that bores me quickly. Sorry Clive... but perhaps I am more of a visual guy for horror. I mean... if you had the thoughts in my head....

I don't even feel like studying Kanji (Chinese-style letters) or Japanese... but I do feel like studying thoughts.

My own.

MUSIC: (Add pipe organ scary music here).

(SFX: Bats squeaking and flying; Door slamming. A woman screaming. A pirate ship dashing itself against the rocks - sorry, I got carried away.)

Anyhow... I look inside my head at the events of this past weekend:

The disappointment of being stood up by a woman who is not my girlfriend or significant other, but is merely someone I am supposed to be able to sleep with as need be - a friend-with-benefits - only, I haven't been getting any from her in a couple of months. I had spent a small fortune to get a turkey dinner for her here in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan (and actually had to have my boss help me get one from a nearby city, as my city just didn't have a turkey anywhere - except for yours truly.

I wanted to do this U.S. Thanksgiving - just for her. Consider if you will, that I am Canadian, and I already celebrated Thanksgiving a month earlier. By myself. But when she recently confided to me that she was homesick, I thought I would giver a slice of home when she might be at her nadir.

She pissed me off. I hate her effin' guts. I hate being treated like I don't matter. There's nothing wrong with being honest and telling someone you can't make a date - that's cool, but don't say you'll do something and then change your mind without informing the affected party.

This is 1991! Do people still act this callous in this day and age?

I know she's young, but she is supposed to be highly intelligent. A good communicator. It's why we're here in Japan on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme.
 
And why is she homesick?! For what? Mom and Dad? Geezus. You just went home over the summer. Suck it up. I haven't seen anyone from home in 16 months - and this is my first time to have ever left home! I didn't spend years living away from home for university like her - or a year in Salzburg, Austria before coming to Japan.

But hey! She said she had a boyfriend before she met me... back in Georgia, I assume. Hmmm, do you suppose she saw him again last summer, and that's why she's been so distant with me?

And what about spending the weekend at Ian's place? I mean, what single woman spends a weekend sleeping at a guy's house and doesn't sleep with them?

Okay... Kristine traveled 500 kilometers and spent a couple of days at my place and despite the fact that I want to wreck her badly - and I'm sure she would let me - we do not sleep together. But that was because I had a stomach disorder that was making a whole lotta pooping for me. Effin' timing! I hate being sick! But I had a painful and legitimate excuse.

But Ashley and Ian? He's a weasaly guy, and not that good looking - certainly lacking in the personality department... oh geez...

I always used to say that Ashley and I had a personality difference: I had one, and she didn't.

They are perfect for each other! She did sleep with him!

But why wouldn't she sleep with me? Despite her having more sexual experience than myself, the virgin, when we first met, I may have had more sexual knowledge, and have only expanded upon that with a larger amount of sexual practice in the past 16 months. I've taught her how to do things... things she has heard of, but never tried.

Oh well... maybe she couldn't stand the limelight. People tend to remember me (I'm just talking about meeting me, now), and if you are with me, people tend to remember you too. Sort off.  Whatever.

Okay... enough pandering to my own dark thoughts. Who cares if she did or didn't sleep with some other guy? What bothers me is the fact that someone else was chosen instead of me. Ego? That's your opinion. I call it self-confidence... or at least it would be if I wasn't so caught up in this emotional eddy.

Make up your mind, Andrew! Figure it out!

At least Ashley won't be coming over tonight, as I warned her that Nick would be coming over. He wants to hang out with me!

She doesn't like Nick, and apparently a lot of assistant English teachers (AETs) on the JET Programme agree with her. And that's fine.

Nick doesn't care what people think about him - or if he does, he doesn't outwardly show it. He's a rogue, but a charming and highly intelligent one - the best kind or the worst kind depending on whose side he is on.

I'm unsure why Nicholas Strachan has taken a shine on myself - but perhaps he just saw another outsider like himself who had a wicked sense of humor and some smarts.

Nick earned my respect by being my first literary critic... telling me that I was a fantastic writer, but that I would keep shooting myself in the foot if I didn't learn how to keep the grammatical and spelling mistakes to a minimum.

(2012 Andrew says: I'm still learning!)

I wanted Matthew to join the visiting Nick, but he has to teach a class tonight. Ashley - well, I'm sure she doesn't want the company, as we broke up because of my 'smothering' ability - I swear, people come to my place, not the other way around!... But it doesn't matter, those two wouldn't be able to keep up with our drinking. Hell, I'm unsure if I can keep up, but it'll be close.

School was the near the station, and I lived near City Hall.

 At school, I write out a good copy of a letter for teacher Rika Fumiya - it takes two hours. Job done, I join a volleyball class. I play a little with the girls, but mostly I just watch. It's a great sport, but I was 5-foot tall until I was 17. When I turned 18, I had to learn how to move again with a frame nearly 12-inches taller. Volleyball was always a sport for tall people, and I still feel short sometimes.

At lunch - I tried to make the kids laugh again in the 2-1 class. I have no idea why I am here again in this food-fight class, but apparently the kids begged to have me come and eat lunch with them. I was requested? Someone wants to hang with me? 

After clean-up time, I stick around and chat with some of the students. One of the kids has the nickname of Gyu = Bull. I thought 'gyu' meant cow, but that's what the kids said. Like a dinkus, I race around the class fingers protruding from my head and pretend to be a bull, but when no one laughs, I'm thinking this big boy may have the nickname for another reason.

A couple of pretty young girls who will be able to stretch some pants in a few years come over to talk with me. Guess what we talked about? That's right - sex. Figures. Just one touch. No!! Damn morals.

Anyhow, the teachers soon gather for a meeting, and I am stuck here in the teacher's office because I am apparently a teacher. Since the meeting doesn't involve me and is in Japanese, I try to read my book again, but I soon fall asleep.

Apparently I began snoring immediately - and no one woke me up for 45 minutes! And that was only because there was a phone call for me!

Apparently I forgot to leave my apartment door open for the visiting Nick.

Nicholas Strachan
I go home early - with school permission - ride the 10 kilometers exhausted before I start the ride, and with a piercing sleep-deprived headache, all the while knowing I am going to be partaking in some heavy drinking later tonight.

Hell, did I say tonight? I meant as soon as I got home.

Immediately after shaking hands, I drag Nick out to Matsuri for beer and food and then upstairs to the 4C bar (all owned by the same gentleman) for more booze, and then over to a snack shop owned by a sexy mama-san who looks no more than 21-years-old, but has boobs each the size of my head. Yowza! If I wasn't so drunk and with company, I'd make a play for her... though I'm guessing she's probably been hit on by every single guy in the town.... and to quote Shakespeare's Touchstone The Clown (From As You Like It):

"Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul slut were to put good meat into an unclean dish."
The dirtiest words ever from Shakespeare! And the truest!

Nick and I have about five beers apiece, and nine glasses of bourbon and soda, a couple more glasses of sake (Japanese rice wine) and then chase that down with two more beers back at my place.

On the way back to my place, I point out all of the bonsai trees people keep outside, and how easy it would be to steal one - so he does - a big beautiful pine tree.

We run away as fast as our drunken legs can wobble. He tosses the damn plant to me, but fortunately my reflexes have improved in my inebriated state, so I make the catch.

Don't worry... I returned it the next night... I'm only a rogue-wannabe.

Back at my apartment, Nick and I have some damn serious political discussions about China, languages, and literature. He was on the attack early, but I was just using him to find out his thoughts first before killing him with a counter-attack. He admitted defeat when he acknowledge he liked me because I have my own views.

Cool.

I have no idea what we actually talked about, but his compliment is all that matters.

I let Nick pass out at 2AM after watching an episode of The Simpsons, and am soooo  drunk, I pass out asleep on my bed before I can take out my contact lenses.

Somewhere deep in my cup of thoughtzzzzzzzz,
Andrew Joseph

Drink, Dance and Fly

I'm still a bit jet-lagged (not JET lagged) from my red-eye from Las Vegas to Toronto this morning. As such, I'm going to be lazy and direct you to my pal Jimbo's Japan, and the piece he did on Izakaya.

Loyal readers like my buddy Rob who helped me become a better writer while I was living in Japan between 1990-1993 - you need to read this. I simply did not have enough sober memories to write first -and about this fun topic.

JIMBO'S STORY 

As an aside... in Las Vegas.... wifey joined me for our 10th anniversary... we were married in Vegas! She got sick her second day there, and while we did have an enjoyable time in Old Vegas on our second night, she probably contaminated the whole place to make even the Las Vegas CSI team unable to track who Typhoid Mary was this week.

Wifey and I took separate planes down and back - not just in case one plane goes down, the other can still be a parent, but rather because she procrastinated a little too much in getting her passport and I wasn't sure she was going to go. I had to go for work.

Anyhow, wifey left 3 hours before me... and almost immediately, I began to win at the slots, playing Dean Martin's Wild Party. Anyhow... I had to race to catch my shittle (spelling is correct). I made it, tossed my bags into the back, the driver locked the door and off we went to the airport.

The first stop to let off some other passengers... the handle to the door broke... meaning we couldn't get the luggage out. No one had tools. The airport maintenance guys had none (Really? Liars). No other shuttle driver had tools. No taxi driver had any.

One driver did have a Swiss Army knife... which one of the stranded riders used to try and get it open. Meanwhile a second rider chided him on the way he was trying to save us all. A swearing argument ensued. I just calmly watched. Finally a tow truck driver showed up... they pried it open, and only having lost 45 minutes we all got dropped off to our various check-in sites on time. I flew from Las Vegas to Cleveland on Continental 1436, and Cleveland to Toronto on Continental 4807. Decent amount of turbulence on the first leg - side to side mostly - which is rough when you are trying to sleep. Landing in Toronto in the rain, it was the smoothest landing I've ever experienced and told the pilot so. You couldn't even feel the wheels touch the ground. The Stew.. she was tough as nails, but dealing with jerk passengers - she did a great job - effectively and efficiently with humour and strictness. Cheers. I got home in 6 hours. By the way...  security in Vegas was effective and had a great sense of humour!

Wifey, who left three hours before me... still hasn't arrived in Toronto as of me writing this... 16 hours later. She traveled from Las Vegas to San Francisco. San Francisco to to Chicago. Chicago to Toronto.
Problem... she missed her connection from San Fran to Chicago. She and another woman had two minutes to spare, but United 828 closed the gates early ... and wouldn't let them on.

Here's wifey in her own words in an e-mail to me this morning:

I missed my flight by one minute - not really, though - they just closed the doors to the jetway earlier than they were supposed to. I banged on the doors, saw someone who paid me no attention.  Finally a guy from United asked me what I was doing.  Another man came and said that they close the doors ten minutes before the departure time - he was telling us (there was another woman in the same position) when there was still 12 minutes left before departure time.  I then went to United customer service and a woman there said she would change my flight direct to Toronto.  She also mentioned something about getting me in to Toronto at the same time I would have had I made the flight.  Fine.  I was just going to have to stay in the airport for a couple of hours.  While having a smoke, I looked at the documents/boarding pass the customer service woman had given me and it appeared as though she had just booked me on the Chicago to Toronto flight that I was already on - I had nothing for San Francisco to Chicago.  I pondered this for awhile, wondering if my earpluggedness was causing me to be in a time warp of some type.  I  then wandered the airport looking for a United person - no one was anywhere.  Finally, went down to baggage and found someone from United.  He was able to get me on a flight.  Before I tell you what flight I'm on, he told me that I could have been on a direct flight had the first customer service woman known what she was doing but it was too late for that.  As it is I am going to see Washington DC.  How nice.  Problem is, I won't be able to see it until tomorrow afternoon.  I won't get into Toronto until 6:30 PM. Crap crap crap.  I never want to fly again.  Three days at home with no responsibilities will be my next vacation.

Thank you, wifey. Oh yes... she got sick on the second day in Las Vegas. Germs, germs germs from slot machines... and no hand sanitizer anywhere (hopefully everybody at united gets the aviation flu)... except for $20 at the hotel inconvenience store. Did I mention the MGM Grand sucks? Light bulb out in bathroom for all three days. Crappy TV - not even a flat screen - and remote partially worked. Alarm Clock - I couldn't set the actual time... it was ahead by an hour... so I had to set the alarm ahead by an hour. At least I noticed it and wasn't drunk to not be able to deal with it.  $43.70 for a pot of coffee and a plate of fresh berries via room service. No coffee machine or mini bar in room. No combs. No tooth brush. No razors. No ice bucket. Hey... no positive review! An inch of dust on fake lion inside lion gift shop. No manners at pizza shop inside MGM (we say thank-you, you say you're welcome). And how old is that friggin' carpet?!

Got on Monorail. Nice looking. An overheard speaker says it runs 19 hours and 20 hours on certain days of the week:  Just like my sleep schedule in Las Vegas. Uh no... it's the opposite. I'm awake 19 or 20 hours a day, and asleep 4 or 5 hours. One trip on monorail, I got on at the MGM station... went North one stop. picked up a few people.. then instead of continuing north, it reversed direction and went back to MGM station. Opened the doors, added a few people and went back to Bally's station. Then sat there for several minutes before finally proceeding. Since it was an automated driving system, no announcement was made as to what the problem was. Next day, took bus to old Vegas - few automated ticket machines worked. Driver was a jerk... I mean liked to drive and jerk to a stop. Old strip was awesome for the light show. It all seemed more real than the fake New Las Vegas strip. Everyone should visit Old Vegas strip and sing along with the hourly light show featuring Don McLean's American Pie.

What's this got to do about Japan? It's about Jimbo's blog entry up above... and I'm giving you some news about me: Aside from not seeing a single Nihonjin (Japanese person) or hearing the Japanese language while in Las Vegas... this blog is really about my Wonderful Rife. And it is also about my wonderful wife who is still lost at that signpost up ahead,

Somewhere in the Twilight Zone,
Andrew Joseph's wife

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