It's Wednesday, November 14, 1991 and today I am teaching the junior high school students and English teachers of Wakakusa Chu Gakko (Wakakusa Junior High School) here in Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Japan all about Canadian/North American gestures.
In fact... I have four classes today. There are only five classes in the day. I have no idea why I am whining... the students have to do all five, even if the teachers do not.
My big deal is that my four classes are all in a row. It's tiring to have to talk for four hours straight. Obviously it's not impossible, as I like to talk... just that there's no time to grab a water.
Who am I kidding? Here in Japan, the only beverage one gets to drink at a school if you are a teacher is green tea (o-cha).
My classes are interesting - to me at least. I just realized how many different gestures we use! Simple things like the different ways people wave, or the completely alien way westerners versus Japanese will use a hand to call people to them.
Westerners call people to themselves by holding a hand out, palm up and moving the fingers in towards the body.
Japanese bend the elbow, with the hand upright. The palm faces outward with the fingers straight up. The fingers are then moved up and down. If you have ever gone into an Asian shop and seen a large white cat doll waving its paw at you, it is calling you in to the store. C'mere gaijin!
If you've ever watched Blackjack players call for another card - flicking the cards towards themselves, it is similar to a Japanese 'come here'.
I show them the thumb's up - which I believe is an insult in Ghana, but comes from the Romans - specifically Caesar who would give a thumbs up if a warrior had fought well in the coliseum and should live, or a thumb's down if he deserved to die.
The peace sign, splayed upright index and middle finger when held with the thumb away from the body is essentially Vee-for victory... as well as victory over Japan from the war days. Of course, flipping the vee-sign with the thumb held towards the body and a slight movement upwards of the fingers is an eff you.
Westerners just extend the middle finger for an eff you. Italians might flick fingers from the chin outward for the same effect. Or maybe stick a thumb under the front teeth (nail down) and flick out to the victim. Or drag a lower eyelid down to proffer the evil eye.
Did you know that the Japanese can't do a razzberry? Sticking out one's tongue in derision and then flapping it in vibration with spittle flying everywhere.
I also offer classic eff you's like the three middle fingers help up while muttering "read between the lines" and holding up the little finger and saying "metric" - implying... hell, I know it means eff you, but metric would imply a larger number for the same value as the longer middle figure. This is reverse metric!
Anyhow, the lessons aren't the big thing today. In the morning, the teachers are informed by a policeman that a student here may have committed a crime.
My ears perk up, as I wonder if it was murder, rape, smashing property... but nope.
What the police know is that a student at this school (they know that because the shop keeper recognized the school tracksuit kids wear all the time) had sold a lot of video games to a rental shop for a lot of money.
The concern is that he MAY have shoplifted them from another store.
So, without discovering who the student was and asking him, or any evidence that the games were actually stolen, the school decides to ban all students from entering a video game shop.
Really.
Anyhow, since I visited a sports shop yesterday and bought a ton of first edition Japanese baseball cards, I begin handing out duplicates to students who do well in the classes.
Wakakusa has a separate bunch of classes for some mentally-challenged kids with whom I eat lunch with every day. Omori-kun, one of the boys, really likes baseball so I give him about 100 of the cards I have left.
After school I ride my bicycle to the eye doctor - now that I know where it is after whining for days. I have a scratch on my cornea, and was given some medication for it. The doctor says that my eyes are okay and I can start wearing my contact lenses again.
Thank goodness! I was afraid I was never going to get laid again if I had to wear these binoculars I call glasses for another day.
On the way home I visit the video store and return a few movies. I run into my ex-girlfriend Ashley leaving school (Ohtawara Boys High School) and we ride back to my place where I make us dinner.
Jeanne calls... she's a neighbor of Ashley's in Nishinasuno-machi (Nishinasuno Town), and we chat for a few minutes. Jeanne is the acting president of the Tochigi-ken assistant English teachers on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme. I was, until very recently, the editor of the prefectural newsletter, but quit in a huff over a lack of perceived respect. Or depression.
Jeanne tries to get me to be a monitor at the upcoming JET conference in Gunma-ken (Gunma Prefecture). I don't even know what a monitor is supposed to do, but I refuse. She knows that all is not rosy in Andrew's wonderful rife and wants to know if I want to talk.
Sure... but not with problem number one, Ashley, over at the moment. I hem and haw until Jeanne asks me if Ashley is there right now. I say yes, and she understands completely.
Wanting to know if there was anybody I could talk to about my troubles, I tell her that just by asking, she has made a difference.
Satisfied that I'm not going to kill myself, she bids me good night and good luck - a veiled reference to the company I keep. She knows I am hung up on Ashley and that her as a friend is killing me, as I want us to be boyfriend-girlfriend again.
To hammer home my troubles, Ashley and I watch a porno cartoon and then the Wizard of Oz.
I had figured the porno cartoon would have got someone in the mood, but apparently I was completely mistaken.
Movies over, I follow the yellow brick road back with Ashley on our bicycles back to her place.
The end.
Somewhere learning a few new gestures for eff you,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is inspired by The Beatles
In fact... I have four classes today. There are only five classes in the day. I have no idea why I am whining... the students have to do all five, even if the teachers do not.
My big deal is that my four classes are all in a row. It's tiring to have to talk for four hours straight. Obviously it's not impossible, as I like to talk... just that there's no time to grab a water.
Who am I kidding? Here in Japan, the only beverage one gets to drink at a school if you are a teacher is green tea (o-cha).
My classes are interesting - to me at least. I just realized how many different gestures we use! Simple things like the different ways people wave, or the completely alien way westerners versus Japanese will use a hand to call people to them.
Westerners call people to themselves by holding a hand out, palm up and moving the fingers in towards the body.
Japanese bend the elbow, with the hand upright. The palm faces outward with the fingers straight up. The fingers are then moved up and down. If you have ever gone into an Asian shop and seen a large white cat doll waving its paw at you, it is calling you in to the store. C'mere gaijin!
If you've ever watched Blackjack players call for another card - flicking the cards towards themselves, it is similar to a Japanese 'come here'.
I show them the thumb's up - which I believe is an insult in Ghana, but comes from the Romans - specifically Caesar who would give a thumbs up if a warrior had fought well in the coliseum and should live, or a thumb's down if he deserved to die.
The peace sign, splayed upright index and middle finger when held with the thumb away from the body is essentially Vee-for victory... as well as victory over Japan from the war days. Of course, flipping the vee-sign with the thumb held towards the body and a slight movement upwards of the fingers is an eff you.
Westerners just extend the middle finger for an eff you. Italians might flick fingers from the chin outward for the same effect. Or maybe stick a thumb under the front teeth (nail down) and flick out to the victim. Or drag a lower eyelid down to proffer the evil eye.
Did you know that the Japanese can't do a razzberry? Sticking out one's tongue in derision and then flapping it in vibration with spittle flying everywhere.
I also offer classic eff you's like the three middle fingers help up while muttering "read between the lines" and holding up the little finger and saying "metric" - implying... hell, I know it means eff you, but metric would imply a larger number for the same value as the longer middle figure. This is reverse metric!
Anyhow, the lessons aren't the big thing today. In the morning, the teachers are informed by a policeman that a student here may have committed a crime.
My ears perk up, as I wonder if it was murder, rape, smashing property... but nope.
What the police know is that a student at this school (they know that because the shop keeper recognized the school tracksuit kids wear all the time) had sold a lot of video games to a rental shop for a lot of money.
The concern is that he MAY have shoplifted them from another store.
So, without discovering who the student was and asking him, or any evidence that the games were actually stolen, the school decides to ban all students from entering a video game shop.
Really.
Anyhow, since I visited a sports shop yesterday and bought a ton of first edition Japanese baseball cards, I begin handing out duplicates to students who do well in the classes.
Wakakusa has a separate bunch of classes for some mentally-challenged kids with whom I eat lunch with every day. Omori-kun, one of the boys, really likes baseball so I give him about 100 of the cards I have left.
After school I ride my bicycle to the eye doctor - now that I know where it is after whining for days. I have a scratch on my cornea, and was given some medication for it. The doctor says that my eyes are okay and I can start wearing my contact lenses again.
Thank goodness! I was afraid I was never going to get laid again if I had to wear these binoculars I call glasses for another day.
On the way home I visit the video store and return a few movies. I run into my ex-girlfriend Ashley leaving school (Ohtawara Boys High School) and we ride back to my place where I make us dinner.
Jeanne calls... she's a neighbor of Ashley's in Nishinasuno-machi (Nishinasuno Town), and we chat for a few minutes. Jeanne is the acting president of the Tochigi-ken assistant English teachers on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme. I was, until very recently, the editor of the prefectural newsletter, but quit in a huff over a lack of perceived respect. Or depression.
Jeanne tries to get me to be a monitor at the upcoming JET conference in Gunma-ken (Gunma Prefecture). I don't even know what a monitor is supposed to do, but I refuse. She knows that all is not rosy in Andrew's wonderful rife and wants to know if I want to talk.
Sure... but not with problem number one, Ashley, over at the moment. I hem and haw until Jeanne asks me if Ashley is there right now. I say yes, and she understands completely.
Wanting to know if there was anybody I could talk to about my troubles, I tell her that just by asking, she has made a difference.
Satisfied that I'm not going to kill myself, she bids me good night and good luck - a veiled reference to the company I keep. She knows I am hung up on Ashley and that her as a friend is killing me, as I want us to be boyfriend-girlfriend again.
To hammer home my troubles, Ashley and I watch a porno cartoon and then the Wizard of Oz.
I had figured the porno cartoon would have got someone in the mood, but apparently I was completely mistaken.
Movies over, I follow the yellow brick road back with Ashley on our bicycles back to her place.
The end.
Somewhere learning a few new gestures for eff you,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is inspired by The Beatles
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