How Rob Jones Visited Japan

Today, March 31st, is the birthday of my very good friend, Rob Jones.

He lives in Toronto, Canada, and has never been to Japan.

However, he has followed this blog from Day 1, and reads it out loud to his boss while his boss, Chris, apparently is working. I don't understand that, but that's okay.

Chris, by the way, played on the same soccer team as Rob and myself about 30 years ago. Yeesh. But how's that for a cool coincidence?

Rob and I have been friends since we were about 14-years-old and in Grade 10 at Burnhamthorpe Collegiate Institute (our high school) in Etobicoke. We were the two youngest kids in our grade (as were were both ahead by a year).

Not only did we play soccer on the same team, and against each other, we also coached women's soccer together for at least seven years (he a lot, lot longer, as I quit to go to Japan).

Rob, much to my chagrin, wrote to me some 68 times while I was in Japan for three years. He and my friend Doug McIntosh share the same letter writing record, actually.

And, while Doug was my writing mentor, Rob was the real reason why this blog exists.

The Awesome Origin of Andrew Joseph, Creative Writer: 

You see... it was in the month of March back in 1991, when I realized his birthday was coming up... so I told him that for the entire month of March - during each week day - I would write a letter to him for his birthday.

(Seven months earlier, I began a once a month column of comedic adventures for the local JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme entitled It's A Wonderful Rife - so yeah, I did know how to write creatively, and prior to that, I was journalist for the Toronto Star).  

But... after about four days of "How are you? I'm fine thanks.", I got bored with that structure and decided I would write him a short story.

And the rest, as they say, is his story. History, too.

From that first time I wrote a short story, I felt good about myself.... that this is what I am supposed to do... do define who I am.

So... the next envelope contained two stories... then three... sometimes more... sometimes less.... and all inspired by my need to entertain Rob for his upcoming birthday. As such, my imagination kicked into over-drive. Or it was sleep deprivation and or boredom fueled by vast quantities of alcohol... though I have only written smashed maybe three times in my life.

I have no idea what happened, but from then on... whenever I wanted to, or needed to, or had to write a short story - whether it was comedic or dramatic, I could sit down in front of a computer or pull out a notepad and a pen, and simply write. It was not work. It was pure fun.

I would never have a clue as to what my topic would be. I would just write the first thing that popped into my head - a title - and off I would go. And... even then, I would have no concept of where the story was going or how it would end, and thus, like Rob, I would be surprised at the story. But I always needed to have that title first. Even now.

Simply thinking, made it so.

I've done that from time to time - even a few weeks ago for another friend of mine. I write on top of my day job as a magazine writer, and my fun job as the writer of this blog - often twice or three times daily... but I will say, that for that one month period, I wrote stories for my friend Rob and created over 30 short stories and have always felt since then, that I have never been as creative again in my life. 

You might think I am creative with this blog... I suppose I am, I don't know... but an idea will pop into my head regarding a topic, and then I will research it - which takes away some of the spontaneity, I think.

But, for 30 days or less in March 1991... I was like Ferris Bueller... everything I touched with a pen and paper was like gold.

You can read one of those stories HERE. It's weird, but fun.

Rob had kept all of my letters and stories (ya big lug) and gave it back to me a few years ago, because I didn't always make a copy for my own records.

I first posted the story on this blog - something about the Awesome Origin of Ralph Tochigi - back on June 10, 2010. You probably missed it then, because at that time this blog only had about 700 hits for the entire month. Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife now with more hits - gets about 1,100 a day.

And it's all because of Rob Jones' birthday. You can blame him. I do.

Thanks, buddy! And Happy birthday!

Somewhere writing this at 3AM, your pal,
Andrew Joseph  
PS: I think I may have also just missed the birthday of Alex, Matthew & Takako's son. Belated happy birthday, kiddo! It's a big cake, you and Rob can share.

It's My Life

Today is Friday, November 8, 1991. It's my 27th birthday and I feel old. (Twenty years later as I type this out in the blog, I can see that in 1991 I was a melodramatic effing idiot.)

I live in Ohtawara-shi, Tochigi-ken, Japan and teach English at the seven junior high schools in the city. It's a tough gig, but it's rife. Okay... it's not that tough.

In case my family calls from Toronto, I plug the phone back into the wall.

I ride my bicycle in to the Ohtawara Board of Education (OBOE) office with a mail delivery slip to pick-up a package from my mom.

I don't do anything work-related, and instead write this diary out and write a few stories. It's flowing out of the cesspool that is my mind. And, all is well.

After eating a spaghetti lunch courtesy of the office, I ask Kanemaru-san if he would drive me to the post office. I wouldn't normally ask my boss this weenie little favor, but it's raining like a bastard out there and I don't want to ride my bicycle in the rain and get the package wet - or my hair. I hate having my hair messed up. It's the one vanity I have - that I will admit to.  

Receiving the box, I count out 105 40-cent stamps + one 5-cent stamp on it.  $42.05 to send this box from Toronto to Japan? Wow. Thanks.

As Kanemaru-san drives me back to my apartment to drop off the box, he pulls out a couple of packages and hands them to me.

See photo above: One is a freshly-made indigo hand-dyed scrolled wall hanging of a dragon (I was born in the Year of The Dragon, plus, my name Andrew, when translated into Kanji means "Peaceful-Leader-Dragon") and the other is a framed set of pressed flowers made of folded paper, made by his wife.

I'm touched by his thoughtful gesture, as he struggles to say in English "Happy Birthday, my friend" before slapping me on the shoulder. He even gave me a card, with a hand-written message in English - surely from from Tomohiro, his six-year-old son! I love that kid, and want one just like him if I grow up (and, 20 years later... I do!)

My package from home contains letters from the family, a video tape, a CD, two audio tapes, some books, comics, and microwaveable popcorn. Two bags - because who wants to share? Thanks to my little brother Ben for putting together most of that! There's even a $50 (about ¥4,000) cheque from Grandpa. I have no idea how to change it into yen, and while I appreciate the gesture, I don't really want to take the old man's money.

Kanemaru-san, by the way, was the first person to wish me a happy birthday.

I go back to the office afterwards with Kanemaru-san and read the letters and then draft a few in response.

I ride home in the rain. Ashley is there already inside waiting for me. While she doesn't say 'Happy Birthday'. she hugs me and says 'hi'.

As I get up from the couch to get some Coke, I show Ashley a birthday card Yumiko Ebe (a former adult night school student of mine), who is now living in Ibaraki-ken (Ibaraki Prefecture) sent me. It had some Sesame Street character on it spelling out happy birthday.

As I sit back down with two glasses of Coke, Ashley is in shock as she didn't know it was my birthday. We've know each other for 15 months, and we did celebrate it last year - sort of. Still... I know her birthday (still do, 20 years later - I guess my memory hasn't been wiped clean yet).

Anyhow.. she says she feels like crap because she forgot. Then again, when someone you care about doesn't care enough to remember... well... I feel like crap, too.

Back home in the evening, James (Jimmy Jive) Dalton, a good friend and fellow Assistant English Teacher (AET) who is originally from Stoney Creek, Ontario, Canada - phones. He wishes me, too.I've known him since August of this year.

Then Matthew calls. Matthew Hall was my first friend here in Japan and remains one of my best friends (20 years later). More wishes.

James calls again and tells me we have two tickets to Singapore!!!! leaving December 22 and returning on January 1 for ¥66,000 (~ Cdn/US $883).

Coordinator for International Relations (CIR) Joy Mori calls and also wishes me a happy birthday! How the hell does she know? It doesn't matter. She cares enough to call. She also asks what's up with me, as it appears as though I am shutting out people... wow... she's good. Not one to lie when asked a direct question, I tell her all. She's not pushy or judgmental. Just caring.

Kristine South calls! Then Karen (this year)! Amanda (this year)! And Matthew again! Rob Jones from Toronto calls! Holy crapola! 

As I chat with Rob about life, liberty and the pursuit of easy women (He listens and takes notes), Ashley answers the door for me - letting in Mrs. Matsuda and Yumiko! She came all this way from Ibaraki just see me! Man... if she wasn't married... hell... it's a pity bigamy is illegal. It is illegal, right?

They all meet Ashley. They have some food and a birthday cake for me... complete with my name spelled in the correct Canadian order. There's even the right number of candles! The four of us eat, and have a good time.

They know of Ashley, but had not met her in person before as only Matthew and I teach extra night school for some cash on the side. Ashley needs her R&R and besides, she's as shy as I am pretending to be an introvert. Can someone pretend for 15 months? Maybe this is me? 

Tim Mould calls - but just to talk, as he was worried about me. Then my dad calls and we chat for a while.

Crap.

All these people are making this difficult for me. Even James said "Expletive them all!"

I'm confused.

Maybe I should just pay attention to what my real friends say and feel about me rather than the rest of the rabble AETs. D'uh.     

Anyhow... finally everyone leaves, except Ashley... and the phone finally stops ringing. I'm sure every time it does, Ashley dies a little bit inside. Still... she did just show up at my place out of the blue, and did have a present for me a couple of days ago - just because she felt like giving me something.

We watch a few videos and then have a bit of sex. I still can't finish... is it her or me? Still... sex on one's birthday, when you are in a relationship should be a given... and since Ashley and I aren't really boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, I guess not finishing what I started seems par for the course. She did forget.

Maybe crap like that bothers me more than I realize.

Nope.

I know it bothers me. 

Somewhere this is my rife,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog is by the Animals. Why not? I started this Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife blog with one of their songs (sic) as a title...

Feeding My Ego

I'm taking a short breather tonight (Midnight) from my own stuff... and instead want to point you to a blog written by my good friend Mike Rogers - a foreigner living in Japan. He's an opinionated SOB with a heart of gold.

I only just discovered that on MY birthday this past November 8 he posted a fantastic blog about what life was like in Tokyo back in 1979, 1984 and today.

He also managed to give me a shout-out and links to Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife and to another blog written by Mister Manfred Mann who may or may not be me called: How To Survive Women. I've neglected it for a couple of weeks because I've been busy and a bit burned out at work... the type of work that pays the bills and puts food on the table, as opposed to this blog which merely feeds my ego. I have a lot more to give to HTSW... and to It's A Wonderful Rife...

Anyhow... I just wanted to publicly state that Mike is one of the best friends I have ( I have a few. Really), even though he and I have yet to meet.

Yet.

Please help me thank him by visiting his awesome blog: Marketing Japan and following him everyday.

Much like how writing letters everyday for the entire month of March 1991 to my friend Rob Jones inspired me to write short stories, and much like how being delusional with a fever inspired me to think I could be a writer, Mike has inspired me to be a better blogger and is the real reason I have posted a blog every day since January 28, 2011 - posting, for me, an astounding 553 blogs without missing a day. And, while he didn't know it at the time, I also made it my goal to post more than him. I'm winning by 30 blogs... and it would have been closer if he knew it was a contest.

Now that he knows there's a race... perhaps in 2012 we'll have the most expensive car crash in and about Japan - but with our blogs...

Cheers, Mike.

And thanks again for the fantastic birthday present. You've made it a wonderful rife for me. Well... you and all of you loyal readers who read pretty much all I write. You know who you are. Thanks. There is nothing more satisfying to a guy who thinks he is a writer to know that someone reads his stuff.

Nothing at all.

Somewhere in a dark room typing,
Andrew Joseph
Hmmm...  I still wrote longer than I thought I would.