Lookin' For Love (In All The Wrong Places)

Sakuyama Jr. High students read a Haiku marker by Basho, a famous poet.

It's been a while since I posted one of these true tales of my time as a gaijin (foreigner) in Japan, as opposed to my time as a gaijin in Canada. Because Matthew J. Hall requested it, here's a story which truly captures the reason why I created this particular blog in the first place. 

Here's the precursor, as we flip back 20 years in time: Today is Wednesday, October 16, 1991. I'm a junior high school teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching Programme) now on my second year of living comfortable in Ohtawara-shi (City of Ohtawara), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Japan.

I'm teaching at Sakuyama Chu Gakko (Sakuyama Junior High School) this week, and today is just another typical day here.... not.

Today we're going on a bicycle /hiking school trip!

First off... the students ride out to the town of Kurobane on their bicycles. It took them an hour.

I got a ride in the car with some teachers, who followed them to make sure no one fell into a rice paddy along the way. Do you know what was cool? Not a single car passed us that morning. It's like we had the road all to ourselves to ensure the kids were going to have a safe ride. I wonder if they actually can do something like that - shutting down a public road - like what they do back home for parades?

The thing is... there is probably no other road in or out of Kurobane.

Earlier that morning, teachers had marked out with cones all of the designated danger zones in an effort to direct traffic for the students.

During the opening ceremonies, I open up my camera to change film (I told you this was 1991)  and discover it was empty. I wonder if I have been taking photos of anything these past few weeks. Luckily I have a fresh roll of film in my pocket - and if I didn't, I could buy one at a local film vending machine later.

Getting out of the car at Kurobane, I hook up with a third-year (grade 9) male leader named Ueki-kun (kun designates the friendly form for boy, rather than the formal san or mister). This kid was great. I only wish he had told me his first name... Anyhow... last year, he was the kid I had first taught all of the bad English words to. And, lo and behold, he quietly recites them to me as we hike. He also takes the time to teach me a whole slew of Japanese naughty words and phrases... the meaning of which we are able to figure out through pantomime and broken English and broken Japanese.

To be honest, I haven't had such a good time with the students since this time last year when I went to Nikko with the Nozaki school.

Ueki-kun and I chat as old friends as we walk around Kurobane finding stone markers denoting various poems written by the famous Haiku poet Basho. How famous was Basho? I first learned about him in Grade 3 back in Toronto.

We walk about for five hours. I'm exhausted - and while I get to ride home in an 2-50 air-conditioned car (two windows down - 50 kilometers an hour), these poor kids have an hour's ride to look forward to... but no one complains.

A whole slew of kids come up to me at various times just to say hello and to chat. In fact, I've talked to more students today than at any other time since arriving in this country 15 months ago. There's no rife like it!

It's like this field trip has brought us all closer together—much like last year's Nozaki Nikko trip did at this same time last year.

Click HERE to see my photos of this beautiful place. Presented in order of the ride.

Okay... here's the fun part. It was a beautiful day. Students all came up to me at the conclusion of the hike to slap me on the back and say how relieved they were that my days as the ame otoko (rain man) appeared to be over. You see... everyone knows that I am the ame otoko, and that it rains whenever I travel (see photographic evidence of my recent trip to SENDAI) as proof of that.

While I am unsure if my days as the rain man are over - because hanging around Ohtawara's area does not usually constitute a trip in my watery logs... but tomorrow.... tomorrow is another day. I'm going to Utsunomiya and Nikko on an AET (assistant English teacher)learning trip.

As the hike part of the day is over, we settle down and have some lunch by the Naka Gawa (Middle River)... nothing overly special, we all had to bring our lunches. I didn't, so I bought a bento box (a boxed lunch) at a nearby shop. Unagi (eel) on a bed of rice! Holy cow that was good! (And 20 years later, it is still the one meal I order when I see it on a menu at a Japanese restaurant!)  

I go home and out to practise kyudo (Japanese archery). Ashley (my ex, and now friend-with-benefits) both miss our last shots into the night and lose our arrows. We playfully accuse each other of hiding the each others arrow, because after 10 minutes of searching we can't find them.

We go to Tsubuhachi's for dinner (in Ohtawara), come back to my place and watch videos until 11PM.

We begin kissing, get hot and heavy, strip down and are about to have sex when she says 'no'. She just wants to kiss me. She rides home at 1AM, and I am tired and frustrated and end a great day less than satisfied.

Somewhere too tired to ride,
Andrew Joseph
I chose the blog title because it's obvious I really was looking for love in all the wrong places - whether it was cupid's lost arrow with Ashley (at Kyudo) or back at my apartment getting shot down - I had love from my students at Sakuyama Chu Gakko who treated me with respect. I was probably too stupid to realize that back in 1991. Sort off. I knew I had the kids, but I was still pining for someone I could never get again.
Today's blog title is sung by Johnny Lee, who made it famous:

Thank God I'm A Country Boy

Today is Tuesday, October 15, 1991. I'm living in Japan as an assistant English teacher (AET) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme teaching at seven junior high schools here in Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City) in Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture). I've been here since late July 1990 and have completely enjoyed my time with the Japanese - even the ones who stalk me.
Most of my stalkers have been curious primary school kids who have heard about me, seen me and want to meet me. Seriously though... these kids are coming up to my door and coming inside. Someone needs to street-proof the little buggers a lot better than they are!
I'm no danger to them, of course, but they don't know that.
Now... my favourite stalker was a university teaching student who must have been the hottest looking chick I have yet to see in this town. We hit it off right away..... I mean, you could smell the pheromones kicking into overdrive when we first met. We had weeks of no-sleep sex that left me a physically-drained vessel who hadn't slept in weeks and who needed the help of a teacher or two to literally get her off me. It's not her fault I'm so sexy, but I think she needs some help. Imagine wanting to drop out of university to be with me.
In hind sight, that's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever tried to do for me. let's see... generous. fanatical about me. Gorgeous. Intelligent. Perhaps slightly wacky, but that was off-set by the fact she spoke flawless English and loved to have sex.
What the hell was wrong with me? Perhaps the lack of sleep made me stoopid.
Regardless... today, October 15, is my brother's birthday. Ben is 7 year's younger than me, and while I love him very much because of the difference in age, we've never been particularly close. That sucks.
I'm at Sakuyama Chu Gakko (Sakuyama Junior High School) this week. The most recent batch of kids to come and visit me were primary school students in March of this year, and are are now grade 7's at Sakuyama.
I hope they didn't get in too much trouble, but I had to tell my bosses at the OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education) office because really, they were getting in the way of my privacy and  attempts at getting laid that other stalker I was just telling you about. You can read about our first meeting HERE. My bosses told their principal, and I believe some sort of edict went out declaring Andrew's house at 307 Zuiko Haitsu off limits. I'm unsure why they had to give out my address at that time, but they did.
School is okay. I actually work hard and s a result don't have as much fun as I usually do. Damn work. This school seems to think I should really teach considering they pay me more than the average teacher. That's a joke, despite the fact that the numbers are correct. I did make more than the average teacher with 20 years of experience. Of course, they did have to make the whole JET Programme enticing for the gaijin (foreigner) wanting to come to Japan and get laid, I mean teach.
I have four classes in a row in the morning - that's how many periods there are, too... so no rest for the wicked.
At lunch I eat with the teachers! This is an oddity here in Ohtawara. At the other six schools, I visit a classroom and eat lunch the with the students, who serve their classmates and their homeroom teacher (and the gaijin - me!).
But at Sakuyama, they afford a bit more social responsibility to the students. They trust them to serve themselves and to eat quietly, while the teachers get to sup in the teacher's lounge. I believe students also do the lunch serving here too. Finally... I get to sit at the adult table. I never got to sit at the adult table back in Canada until I was... hmmm... nope, I never did.
Sakuyama is a district of Ohtawara. It's a farming area. The school is relatively new and still feels modern. It's really quite a spectacular place. The kids, despite being the sons and daughters of farmers are all very well behaved, smart and very considerate of the feelings of their classmates, teachers and local gaijin (me!)
Now... I'm not implying that JUST because they are farmer's kids, I should be surprised at their manners. I don't think a person's job has anything to do with having manners. It's just that I have a very bad school filled with a lot of would-be juvenile delinquents (Kaneda Kita Junior High School). The kids there are also farmer's kids. 
However... I did later find out that there is a difference between the two areas and thus the social level of the kids. The Kaneda Kita district of Ohtawra is filled with rice farmers. Sakuyama is filled with fruit farmers.
Despite rice being the lifeblood of Japan, the fruit farmers have money.
I don't buy that reasoning. Rice farmers have money, too. Kaneda Kita also has a new school. I think it's just a case of too many kids following the lead of one too many bad kids. 
Sakuyama, luckily enough, has a lot of polite kids - despite the fact that they aren't street-proof and like to come and visit my home!
After we eat, Mrs Sekiya the lone English teacher here asks me to make some tape recordings for hr students for an upcoming English speech contest. My involvement has me reading some paragraphs - to show how to properly enunciate the words. Sekiya-sensei is actually quite good at that herself, but why not use the native English speaking gaijin (me!).
I go home and relax. My place is a mess. actually, between you and me... the place is quite neat... but when I am stressed, I tend to clean. I see dirt where there isn't any. I guess I'm just pissed off at my ex-girlfriend Ashley who is now merely a friend-with-benefits. It's like being married except that you can date other people. By that I mean the man gets sex whenever she wants it.
I call up my brother Ben back in Toronto. It's 11PM Tokyo time - and it's 10AM Toronto time. Or something like that. Whatever. I wake the lazy bastard up. Why not? I've been up for 16 hours already.
Wishing him a happy birthday, I tell him I have sent him a present of Y50,000 (~ Cdn?US $670.00)... I sure hope it makes it there. I'm not worried about the Japanese posties stealing it, however.
Ben is 20 years-old today. Crap! Now I feel really homesick.
I watch a video he made for me of some TV shows and crash at 11:30PM. I haven't gone to sleep in the PM in a long time.
Somewhere feeling lonely and unstalked in this country,

Andrew O Solo Mio Joseph
Today's title is sung by John Denver: