Easter in Japan

Do the Japanese celebrate Easter?

The simple answer is yes.  There are over a half-million Catholic Christians residing in Japan... and no, they aren't gaijin (foreigners)... they are Japanese.

As well, it it is rumored (I can't confirm this total that there are an equal number of non-Catholic Christians in Japan.  
  
So... Easter is not an unknown commodity in Japan. Is it wildly celebrated and revered? In the grand scheme of things, the answer is no. Is it celebrated? Yes.

The Japanese do know of many western traditions such as Christmas, Valentine's Day and Halloween, and while Halloween is not celebrated as it is back in Canada and the U.S., for example (I'm writing about what I know), certainly Christmas and Valentine's Day are. Although in Japan, women given men Valentine's gifts and cards on February 14 and the men return the favor one month later on March 14 on what the call White Day.
 
There is a Japanese kanji (Chinese-style letters) conglomeration called fukkatsusai (復活祭), although the more common katakana-alpahabet word of  iisutaa (イースター), (said phonetically) is heard more often.

Fukkatsu means revival (akin to resurrection), and sai, in this case, means festival.

I found a few key words for you: .
Bunny: うさぎ which is usagi in Japanese.
Chick: ひよこ  = hiyoko
Chocolate: チョコレート chokoreeto
Egg: 卵  is tamago
Jesus: イエス  = Iiesu
Christ: キリスト Kirisuto

The Iesu Kirisuto (pronounched Eh-sue Key-wris-toe) is an interesting phonetic translation. In Latin, it sounds pretty damn close to the pronunciation of Heysu Chris-teh.

Regardless... to those of you celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ on this day, Happy Crucifixion... which sounds funny, but when you think about it... his death was anticipated by himself and was required and important to make the world understand his message. The resurrection three days later was just the icing on the Easter egg.

As for the whole bunny rabbit thing, it was believed back in the old days, that the hare/rabbit was a hermaphrodite... having both male and female sexual organs. As such, it was believed that the critter could reproduce within itself without actually losing its virginity.

Having a child while keeping her virginity intact was something Jesus of Nazareth's mother Mary was apparently able to do, which is why she is celebrated in the Catholic Church. I've always believed she should be celebrated, but not worshiped.

The whole 10 Commandments thing about not worshiping any false gods or idols... that implies that in a monotheism religion like Christianity, there is only one God and you worship only the one God. Of course, in the Christian belief... there is God, Son of God (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit, but conveniently, all three are actually one in the same being... a Holy Trinity.

Regardless...  that still doesn't explain why God tells Jesus he's going to die.. the implication is that he's talking to himself or has a split or multiple personality.

I know, I know... I'm talking science. Religion is not about science... it's about belief. Easter is all about belief...serious belief... I mean, the whole crucifix thing... the symbol of Christianity (the fish is a fine symbol, too)... but it's got the son of God hanging on a cross dying! That's serious.

Easter should be celebrated as the most important event in the Christian religion... and it is in Japan, too.

Happy Easter!

Andrew Joseph

St. Patrick's Day in Japan

Kiss Me I'm Irish...

To be honest, with St. Patrick's Day being celebrated on March 17, I took a wild stab in the dark that there might actually be something going on in Japan. Something official... and not just a gathering of drunk gaijin (foreigners) at the local bar.

But a real St. Patrick's Day celebration in Japan?

Sure... why not? Any excuse to drink, right?

If you are in Nagoya - Japan's fourth largest city by population - check out the 8th Annual St. Patrick's Day Festival in Osu Kannon, a Budhist temple for the Owari Thirty-three Kannon of the Shingon sect in central part of the city.

Yes... that is an official poster for the fun up above.

The fun starts (officially) at 12:15PM with live music, with what Japan - It's A Wonderful Rife can only assume will be a wobbly parade beginning at 2PM from in front of the temple.

That's not a lot of time for drinking, so be sure to start early and often!

There is also some evening activities for you thirsty buggers, as there is an official after-parade party to be held at Shooters Bar and Grill.

Shooters Bar and Grill? It makes one wonder just where in the green hills of Japan I actually am. Green hills of Japan? Ye wouldn't be drunk now, boyo?

Anyhow... you obviously don't have to be Irish, or even a foreigner - it's a day of drinking and having fun... unless you are a Protestant, but I'm just guessing you'd probably rather wear orange than green ye heathen bastards.

I'm kidding of course. But when drinking, it is always a good rule to keep religion and politics out of any conversation.

And should you wish, more information might be found at www.stpatricksnagoya.com. I said 'might'.

So... come one and come all. You can be Irish or Irishi, but just have fun. And wear some Kelly Green! Olive green is NOT an acceptable substitute! Okay... maybe people cared about the shade of green once, but not anymore... don't worry about the shade of green - at least ye tried ye blind sodomite.

Now some of you might actually be asking just who is this St. Patrick dude and how did he become synonymous with heavy drinking, feeling up redheads (my favorite part of the whole day), and puking your lungs out over into the Protestant part of town.

Here's some background on the wee bastard.

Patricius was born in 387 AD when the Romans were conquering the British Isles. That's why he has the cool Roman name! Now... depending on who you believe, Patricius was born in either Scotland or Wales - not Ireland!

His pa and his pa's pa were priests in the Christian church - so our boy Paddy had a head start... and yet, despite his holy-holy family, he was, at the age of 16, kidnapped by Irish pirates.

I know... Irish pirates in the 4th century do not sound as fierce as the vikings, but who knows?

Patricius prayed to god for help - and received a message from god that should he try to flee, he would find a boat on shore waiting for him.

A boat on the shore? What were the odds? Anyhow... thanks be to god, Patricius made it back home and studied to become a priest, and after doing so he made it his life's work to convert the heathen Irish from polytheism to Christian monotheistic faith (not including worship of the virgin Mary, of course).

In order to explain the holy trinity to the confused savages or Ireland, Patricius used the plentiful clover as an example.

"Y'see here... each one of these clover leafs is actually one entity... the faaaather, the soooon, and the fecking hooooly spirit, and like the clover's three leaves, it's still part of the single clover... three made into one."

"But Faaaather Patricius... Oive got me a four-leaf clover!"
"Yeah, me, too."
"What iffin Oi pulls off a leaf from the clover - then oive got a twooo-leaf clover - which one dies, Faaaather Patricius? Oim going ta guess the oley-spirit cause its a bloody ghostie already."
"Is the oley spirit a wailin' banshee, faaaather?"
"The oley spirit is from Wales? Feck that! Oi though everyone was from Ireland like this four-leaf clover!"
   
Anyhow, after about 30 years of banging his head against the Heather (I don't know if she minded), a tired Patrick died on March 17, 461 AD and was buried in Downpatrick, Ireland.

Do you think it was named that before or after Patrick was laid down?

By the 9th century AD, Ireland thought Patrick was grand and celebrated his death - or rather celebrated him converting them from their heathen ways, though it wasn't until 1600 that St. Patrick's day was added to the Church's calendar.

You'll love this part. In 1903, St. Patrick's Day became an official holiday in the Republic of Ireland. But, after that first event, the government set up a law that would close down all bars and pubs on that day (March 17) to stop the drunken rowdy behavior (but not the pinching of buttocks of the Colleen's and Heather's).

This bar ban continued until the 1970s!

No wonder so many Irish left to start a better life in other countries!

While Canada, Australia and the U.S. love to celebrate drunken rowdy behavior (and the pinching of buttock's of the Colleen's, Heather's, or anything wearing a skirt  - Scott's men beware) with parades, bar hopping (and later bar crawling), you might want to visit Argentina.

Yes, hot women and excellent soccer to be sure, but they have all-night parties in great weather that last to 8AM, when it's time for a siesta before the soccer matches start. There is always a soccer match in Argentina. 

Faith and bejabbers and the fist of God,

Andrew Joseph

Valentine's Day - Just Between You And Me

Today is Valentine's Day.

Not one of my favorite holidays - so forgive me if I appear grumpy.

Valentine's Day, for me, has always been fraught with great expectations and even greater disappointment as effort after effort has been met with failure after failure.

And this is coming from a guy who has slept with more beautiful women than should be humanly possible given his looks.

I have always felt that the creation of a day to celebrate romance and/or love puts a lot of pressure on people. I mean, shouldn't love be shown every single day? Is one day a year supposed to make up for all of the times love has been found waning?

God help you all if it does. Still... even though I'm not the world's most romantic guy, I try all the time (not just one day a year). Flowers, chocolates, lottery tickets, books, a story or poem - written just for that special someone.... and yet, here I am bitching about Valentine's Day.

In Japan, February 14 - Valentine's Day - is celebrated by the Japanese. But not the way one would expect. Men do not give out valentines, but rather they are the recipient of them from women.

Women get valentines on March 14, a day the Japanese call White Day. White is for purity.

Anyhow... why don't men give out valentines on Valentine's Day?

I was told by both male and female Japanese folk, that it was a way to make things easier for men. When a man receives a valentine in Japan, he gets to see who it is from - which now makes it easier for him to purchase only the requisite valentines. In this manner, a man need not feel embarrassed at not having got a valentine for a woman who has given him one.

Cool, huh? If you are a man, of course. A man doesn't need to stick his neck out to say to a woman - 'Hey, I like you. Do you like me?'

Nope... here in Japan, the men sit back and let the women make a fool out of themselves by making the first move.  

Though there's no guarantee you will receive a valentine, of course. It's a great day... a holiday that reminds you that you are alone when you don't get a valentine.

Women making the first move. Me like this. It may explain why all of the women I have slept with here in Japan have asked me out first - but I doubt it. And it's not like I have actually been 'out' with a lot of these women... mostly just 'in' at my apartment.

Now that you know the ins-and-outs of Japan and Valentine's day, all you men should just sit back and let the good times roll. Valentine's day now need not bust your nuts and your wallet. You can save a few ¥en and just buy White Day presents for the women who gave you a Valentine's Day present.

It just sounds so... cheap.

Ahhh, Japan... where young romance blazes eternally like the fires of Hell. 

Anyhow, should you be so inclined, here's a blog I wrote about the subject in 2011: CUPIDSUX.

And for you more adult folk, please visit my old high school friend Mister Manfred Mann for a brief bit of insight on VD (Valentine's Day) at his How To Survive Women blog: YOUCAN'T.

And remember - just click on the photos to make them larger...  in this case, the one at the top.

Somewhere with a heart-on just for you,
Andrew Joseph
Today's blog title is inspired by Canadian iconic rockers April Wine. I've seen them twice in concert.

The End

Time to get a rife. Let's look back at Monday, October 14, 1991. Nearly 20 years ago.

What's the big deal about this date? Well... if you are from Canada, you might suspect that it was around Thanksgiving. No... not the US Thanksgiving - that's in November... but us Canucks... we harvest a good deal earlier and so our Thanksgiving is a earlier, too.

I'm living in Ohtawara-shi (Ohtawara City), Tochigi-ken (Tochigi Prefecture), Japan. I've been here since July of 1990 and have been enjoying life in this sleepy little city of 50,000 people where the sidewalks are rolled up at 9PM, so you better watch out that you don't step into a sewer (sidewalks cover up the sewers in the smaller cities, towns, villages, and hamlets... if there are sidewalks).

Anyhow... I'm a junior high school teacher (assistant English teacher or AET) on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme. I've never taught before, flunked grade 11 English and even had my mom re-write my essays for me in University... and still... I'm in Japan teaching English.... it's probably because I am a half-decent communicator - despite being chronically shy until I was 24 and entered my first year of journalism school. There... that's pretty much all you need to know. Except...

I was also persona non grata with the women until I arrived here. Ashley was my first girlfriend over three months and the first I had slept with. She's from Augusta, Georgia, USA. I know, I know... who goes to Japan to sleep with an American?  Enh. You take your opportunities where you can find them... and after nearly 26 years of no sex, I wasn't going to let her slip away.

It's now nearly 15 months after I first landed here. Ashley and I broke up six months ago, but we still sleep together... though we are not dating. As such, I'm now into double digits re: sleeping with women.

And yet... I still seem to require some sort of perfect closure from Ashley... and by that I need to know why we broke up. Sure she said she felt like I was crowding her. But then, she was at my house 5 or 6 days a week mooching food. So... who was crowding whom? She would just show up at my door.

It was like being married, except I only got sex when she felt like it. (In 2011 I'm married, so I see the irony of that last statement). But, I had twice the food bill. (Just so you know... in two years, I ate at her place less than 10 times, and it was always spaghetti or soup. Is soup a meal?

I'm teaching this week at Sakuyama Chu Gakko (Sakuyama Junior High School). It's a lovely school in the Sakuyama district tucked down to the south of Ohtawara-shi. It's about a 20- minute car drive away, and has some very beautiful farm land.  Truly gods' country. (Yes, the possessive on 'gods' is correct. Japan has multiple gods).

It's a beautiful day... a little cold, but still brisk enough to make you glad you are alive. It's obvious I'm in a good mood when I talk/write like this.

I have three classes today. Boring, easy, interesting, yet still fun as the enthusiasm of the kids at Sakuyama is infectious. They seem genuinely glad to see me.... and you know what? Their English is pretty decent, too. Even the first year kids....

Why would kids who have only been studying English since May be good at English? Well... I visited them last March... and I was told by the Sakuyama teacher that I had made quite the impression, and they all wanted to study hard so they they could talk with me.

Huh! Mission accomplished. I should leave Japan right now. But I can't. I need to stick around to make sure we can have that conversation! Plus, I really like Japan and enjoy getting laid on a pretty regular basis by whomever tries to pick me up at a bar. yes... I am that easy. Though, I have to admit that the Japanese women who want to sleep with me are pretty damn fine looking. I guess it must be a cool factor to sleep either with a gaijin (foreigner), or to sleep with this gaijin who seems to have enough personality for two.

Ego. Okay... I admit it. This country has given me a bit of an ego. Why not? People shout my name in a good way when I walk the streets. Women throw themselves at me. I am loved and respected at work. I get along with everyone (except for a few elitist JETs who think I'm a bore or boar), but that's only because I believe my roll here in Japan isn't necessarily to teach English, but rather to get them (the Japanese) to realize that we foreigners aren't necessarily that different from them. At least I'm not. And neither are all of the JETs I call friend or acquaintance. We're just people who look out for one another.

So... ego... yeah, a bit.

At night school that I teach on the side with permission from my OBOE (Ohtawara Board of Education) office, I give a test. But, while   

Shoko is there. She's one of the city locals who is soooo cute. She's tall, sexy and man, I could spend a week just staring at her legs... unfortunately I can only do so for two hours because that's how long the class is. I've gone out with her - we've chased each other... but either because she is too goody-goody, afraid of my now infamous voracious appetite for women, or because she is nervous about us communicating as a real boyfriend/girlfriend (as opposed to sexual partners)... things just haven't worked out. Sad but true. It seems like the ones I try to chase never work out. But when I get chased, I get laid. And yet... I want more.
   
After class, I ride my bicycle home to my 3-bedroom, L-D-K apartment with two balconies, with all the amenities of Toronto (where I'm from), watch a rented movie and pass out at midnight.

Oh... I did make two phone calls. I call my family and wish them all a Happy Thanksgiving. My dinner was some onigiri (a rice ball with something in the middle) that I purchased from one of three 7-11's within shouting distance of my apartment.

I got a letter from my friends Pat and Rob. Pat is getting married! Says mutual friend John is acting pretty cool. Rob - he says he's doing okay, though he says he doesn't want to take my advice about more schooling. He hates school, but doesn't hate work. Good for him. As long as he's sure...

I feel a bit lonely after reading the letters and the phone call. I wish I was home with my family and friends... especially after my second phone call made after all of the above.

I called Ashley. I mentioned Canadian Thanksgiving, but she really didn't even seem to give a crap. There was no "Happy Thanksgiving" or any questions as to how I celebrated. Nothing. Thanks for nothing. At harvest time, kiddo... as ye sow, so shall ye reap.

Want a better analogy (from The Beatles): The love you take is equal to the love you make.

American Thanksgiving is next month. Let's see what happens - whether you expect me to do something for you. Nothing from me.

Ahhh crap!

Who's kidding whom? I'll probably do something for her. Bloody Americans... make a big deal about holidays.

I'm such a turkey.

Somewhere its craps at 7-11,
Andrew Joseph 
Today's blog title is brought to you by The Beatles: RINGO SOLO